


William Denbrough, Beverly Marsh, and Richie Tozier Answers the Web's Most Searched Questions

by DedicatedDreamSellers



Series: IT Characters Do Interviews [3]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Bev and Richie are little shits, Everyone Loves Mike Hanlon, F/M, M/M, Mike is a pure bean, Richie and Eddie have a dog and a kid, Stan and Eddie are salty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:46:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22336498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DedicatedDreamSellers/pseuds/DedicatedDreamSellers
Summary: Pretty Self Explanatory. Bev and Richie make fun of Bill with the salty side remarks from Eddie and Stan.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh (mentioned), Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Richie Tozier & Bill Denbrough & Beverly Marsh
Series: IT Characters Do Interviews [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1606240
Comments: 4
Kudos: 110





	William Denbrough, Beverly Marsh, and Richie Tozier Answers the Web's Most Searched Questions

**Author's Note:**

> So, we had a lot of fun making this one. Most of the banter between Bev and Richie about Bill's book was something the two writers of these little ficlets dislike/or find stupid about Stephen King's book, It, (since Bill is so clearly a writer insert for King).

William Denbrough, Beverly Marsh, and Richie Tozier Answer the Web’s Most Searched Questions: 

*Pretty Self Explanatory*

Bill: Hello, I’m Bill Debrough,

Bev: I’m Beverly Marsh,

Richie: I’m Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier and we are doing to Google Autofill Interview thingy. 

Bev: I am going to go first because I am the one people came to see. Ok, first question: “Beverly Marsh Vogue Interview”, ah. Somehow the highest and lowest point in my career.

Richie: Definitely my favorite celebrity interview of all time. My dog and I got a shoutout!

Bill: Whenever either of you do an interview, you just call me stupid.

Bev: Yeah, but are we wrong? Moving on, “Beverly Marsh Birthday”, how dare you assume I age. “Beverly Marsh Boyfriend”, my amazing, wonderful boyfriend, Ben-- 

Richie: Wait, back to the birthday question. Bev, am I the only one of the Losers that knows your birthday down to the minute?

Bill: Why the fuck do you know that?

Bev: Because he’s a real friend, Billiam! And no, Mike knows it too. *Waves to camera* Hi, Mike! We love you!

Mike, off camera: Love you too, Bev!

Richie: Mike’s the best! Interview him, he’s the most interesting out of all of us!

*Camera pans over to Mike, shaking his head, smiling. Camera pans back to the Famous Trio*

Richie: MY TURN! “Richie Tozier Husband”, ah, yes. Love of my life. Everybody loves Eddie, what can I say.

Bev: UBER EATS!!

Eddie, off camera: Stop fucking calling me that!

Richie: Oh, baby. Absolutely not. Next, “Is Richie Tozier Gay?” Yes, very. “Is Richie Tozier Funny?” According to my husband, no. 

Bev: I love that they had to ask Google that.

*Laughs can be heard from behind the camera*

Richie: “Richie Tozier SNL”, that was a fucking WILD time. I hated it, I don’t do so good under pressure. But I did become friends John Mulaney, who is awesome.

Bev: You did Stefon, didn’t you?

Richie: Yes, literally the best part of being on SNL was getting to kiss Seth Meyers.

Eddie, off camera: I’d be mad but honestly, I get it.

Richie: I also got punched through a wall by the Rock, but nothing truly compares to Seth, so...Yeah, moving on. “Richie Tozier Daughter”. Yeah, so, in Clown Town on Netflix, now --

Bill: Nice plug in, Rich.

Richie: Thank you, so in Clown Town, I said Eddie and I were having a kid and now we have a daughter named Debora Beverly Tozier, we named her after the coolest women in the world Debbie Harry and Bev. She means to world to us which is why you wont find any pictures of her on Google because people are freaks and I want my kid to have a normal life.

Stan, off camera: With you as her father, that’s already a lost cause.

Richie: Thank you for the support, Staniel. You really are just the most supportive friend!

Bill: Mmkay, shut up, it’s my turn! “Is Bill Denbrough still with Audra Phillips”...No Audra and I split but it’s ok because we both moved on and I am happily dating someone now.

Richie: Yeah! Stan the Man!

Bev: The greatest bird boy we know!

Bill: “Young Bill Denbrough”...? What does that mean?

Richie: They wanna see pictures of you and your jorts in the 80s.

Bev: Dear Lord, those were awful!

Richie: What are you talking about? Bill was the peak of fashion in the 80s!

Bev: Ok, Mr. Hawiian shirt and Coke Bottle Glasses!

Richie: Hey! I pull that look off!

Bill: Sure, Rich.

Richie: I stood up for you, traitor!

Bill: “How tall is Bill Denbrough”. Why do you want to know?

Richie: They want to expose you for being short.

Bill: I am 5’ 7”. Yes, I am shorter than Bev. I don’t know why I should apologize for being short.

Stan, off screen: Being short is a crime.... A H!

Bev: Did Eddie just kick Stan in the shins?

Bill, already moving on: “Why do William Denbrough’s endings suck?” ok, well--

Bev: Bill, I love you so much, but don’t even try to defend yourself!

Richie: You literally kill off the best characters and none of the arcs make sense! I hate it! It doesn’t satisfy me!

Bill : Ok, it’s probably because I have trouble with finality… or at least that’s what my therapist told me… And my boyfriend. Or it could be the nonclosure I had from my brother’s untimely death. But, who knows, you know.

Richie: ….

Bev: … 

Richie: I wasn’t expecting a real answer.

Bill: Moving on, “William Denbrough Age”...How old do you think I am, guys?

Bev, smiling: Ageless

Richie, stone faced: 65

Bill: “William Denbrough Book Release Date”, February 9th and I promise, it’s good this time. 

Mike, off camera: WHAT’S IT CALLED?

Bill: Great question! It’s called “The”, and it’s about 7 kids fighting a child eating clown named “QuarterSmart”.

Richie: I love that we make money off of our trauma, like we are at this point now.

Bev: Also LOVING the character names! Very original, Bill.

Richie: AH, yes, what were they? Bethany, Mickey, Evan, Bobby, Brody, Shawn, and, my favorite, Ricky.

Bev: Oh, yeah! And I hated their childhood bully, Harry!

Richie: And who could forget Harry’s sidekick, Perry.

Bev and Richie, in unison: And Harry and Perry’s gay love affair.

Bill: It’s not gay if it’s in the sewer!

Richie; Ah, yes, my motto since Middle School!

Bev: Also, love how you made Beth’s mom die from Crabs, what the hell, Bill!

Richie: Should have been Evan’s mom, that would have been more accurate!  
Bill: I thought you were done with the mom jokes.

Richie: I never claimed to be.

Producer, off screen: Guys, we need to move on.

Bev: This is quality content, but fine. Bill, you have one more question.

Bill: Ok, “William Denbrough ‘Black Rapids’ Cameo”, yeah, I was a bookstore owner.

Richie: It was very subtle, too. He was unrecognizable!

Bev: He was just wearing glasses.

Richie: ah, ah, ahh. He was also wearing a Cubs hat!

Bev: Incognito Mode.

Richie: You know it, baby!

*Bev and Richie high five over Bill, who is shaking his head*

Bill: I hate my friends...Except Mike.

*Camera pans back to Mike, smiling then back to the Famous Trio*

Richie: ...and that is the producers telling us to wrap it up, Im Richie Tozier.

Bev: I’m Beverly Marsh,

Bill: And I’m Bill Denbrough, and thank you for watching us act like idiots!

**Author's Note:**

> We hope you like this fic. Personally, this is my personal favorite of the ones we've made so far.  
> In this fic, there is a joke where Bev calls Eddie "Uber Eats" and it's just an allusion to something in a future fic.  
> Richie and Eddie's Daughter's name, Debora, is also a reference to the rock music in the IT book.


End file.
